SOCIALIZING GUIDE

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!

The best places to begin socializing shy cats and kittens is a place you can be at level with the cat to comfortably interact so the cat doesn’t feel towered over, backed into a corner or in a place they can hide. We recommend starting your shy cat in a playpen or large dog kennel. Most bathrooms or small rooms can also work well, however are isolated from continual household activity, so a playpen or large crate means that cat will have frequent exposures to typical human activity. We recommend placing the crate or playpen in a busy, but safe area of the home. If starting in the bathroom, make sure to block off any hiding spots with boxes or towels so your shy cat cannot hide.

Try to choose the set up which gives the kittens the most "quality" exposure to you and household activity.

Small cages or carriers don't work well since the cat will likely feel cornered when you reach in as they have no room to make the important "mind shift" where they choose to approach you out of self-interest, in order to get the food they desire. They need to have the option NOT to be near you in order to make that decision to approach.

CATS SOCIALIZE THEMSELVES BY CHOICE. YOU PROVIDE THE INCENTIVE... FOOD! 

FOOD is the most important tool to facilitate the socialization process. Growing kittens have an insatiable appetite which will give them the courage to approach you and be touched when they might normally never allow you anywhere near them. NEVER put food down and walk away - this takes away any incentive for them to welcome you into their world.

Introducing Interactive Place

Most shy cats and kittens are frightened by interactive play when first exposed to humans. There is no rule for when to introduce it, or when they will accept it, but the best way to start is with a toy which isn't too threatening. A string on the end of a stick or some toy that allows you to entice them from a distance, allows them to get involved with your game without being face to face with you.

Some people have found that interactive play was the breakthrough activity much more so than using food. Be flexible to discover what breaks the ice best and branch out from that. Use whatever proves to be their favorite thing as a reward for new steps or to break through a plateau.

Some people have found that interactive play was the breakthrough activity much more so than using food. Be flexible to discover what breaks the ice best and branch out from that. Use whatever proves to be their favorite thing as a reward for new steps or to break through a plateau.

Once a step has been mastered, only offer regular food as a reward for that step, saving the favorite treat for breaking into new territory. Remember the mantra, "Tough love."

The following guidelines are not "hard, fast rules." You may find that kittens skip to advanced stages very quickly or they follow a sequence of their own design.

  • If the kittens are healthy, using the litter box, and will eat in front of you, you can safely begin delaying meals just enough to give you the advantage of hunger. If not, you may decide to give them space until they feel calmer. Once they seem acclimated, you may begin the "tough love" stage of socialization where you space out the meals so that the kittens are eager to learn.

  • Never put food down and walk away - this is the most important rule of socializing. If the cat or kittens will eat in your presence, progressively pull the dish as closer to you leaving your hand on the bowl. Stay put until the meal is finished, and take any remaining food away when you leave. Always leave water of course, but absolutely no food unless you with them.

  • When the kittens have progressed to eating from a dish right beside you with your hand touching the dish, start offering something tasty off your finger. Gerber baby food are favorites in Turkey, Chicken or Beef flavors, and you can also use Churu treats as well. Sometimes cats aren’t used to the baby food or churu consistency, so you can use a spoon if the cat decides to bite the food instead of lick your finger. The goal of this method is for your hand to be close to them, without any retreating.

  • Once they are used to eating off your finger, use that to lead them up into contact with your body by their choice. Sitting at level with the cat, slowly move your hand closer to your body with the goal on getting the cat to climb on your lap. You can also do this with a dish.

  • Initiate contact at the beginning of a session where the cat or kittens are particularly hungry and eagerly engrossed in eating. Start with them eating from a dish or while eating off the finger, and eventually progress to touching them and petting while they are. Start in the head and shoulder area only. If they run off, lure them back with baby food on the finger and any bad experience should be soon forgotten. Don't stop the session until they've forgotten the bad experience, and are happily doing one of the steps with which they feel comfortable.

  • Expand petting and touching around the head and shoulders by moving to touching the underbelly to desensitize them for being picked up. Also, try nudging them from one side to the other while they are engrossed in eating. Just having your hands near them and gently pushing them around is an important preparation to being picked up.

  • Set up two dishes and gently lift/scoot a cat the short distance from one dish to the other, very close to the ground. If the cat is engrossed in eating they won't mind being lifted if it goes smoothly and quickly. If not, lure them back, back up and start over.

  • Start sitting on the floor so the first real lift is still close to the floor from their point of view. Have a food opened and ready before you try the first pick-up. Try it when they are engrossed in eating right next to you rather than scrambling after them on the run. Lift them under their chest with a small dish of food right in front of their nose the whole time. Hold them as loosely as possible onto your knees and eventually to your chest. Make sure they are very comfortable with the small lifts before you ever bend down from towering above them and picking them up fully standing. When you can do that, you’re home free!

  • After a good long session where the cat or kittens are very full and getting sleepy, try gentle petting and work up to holding and petting without the incentive of food being  present. If this works you should be able to try it at other times between meals. It may be hardest just before feeding when the kittens are very hungry, confused and stressed by being held when they have only food on their minds.